a mindful baby registry
when it comes to baby stuff, less is more
The birth of a baby is a moment of monumental change for everyone in the family, and with that comes some expected anxiety about the impending shift. The more time you spend reading every person’s list of “must-haves,” the more it seems like we couldn’t possibly parent without all the perfect bits and bobs so effectively marketed to us.
Well, you can. Choose to be surprised by how little you need, and resist the temptation to buy every single swaddle on the market before you even know if swaddling is right for you and your family. This person that you’re bringing home is brand spanking new and has little desire to do more than sleep, poop, and eat. The less you buy now, the easier it will be to continue on a mindful path when it comes to buying toys and products for your children.
That said…here’s my list of must-haves! Heh. Look, not everything is going to work for you the same way it works for the next person, and there’s a bit of a learning curve as you navigate these early parenthood waters. That’s why I advise to start at a basic, neutral place so your parenting style can develop organically from what works for you without buying into a brand or philosophy from the get-go.
One of the best things we can do for the world, and the endless pile of discarded baby gear that winds up in landfills, is try to think about buying second hand, or borrowing from friends with older children. Archie and Birdie both used the lovely crib and organic mattress we bought via craigslist, and I will definitely pass it on to another child when we’re done with it. Well made things deserve to get taken care of and loved by as many families as possible.
A swaddle or three or four. Endless uses, incredibly practical.
A sleep sack for when baby begins to roll over and outgrows the swaddle. Archie still sleeps in the 2-4 year size, and Birdie’s been using the 2-24 month size since about 3 months old.
A moses basket is a cozy place to move all around the house. And could be all you need for the first couple of months when baby is most likely sleeping beside you most of the time.
A sheepskin for the basket, the bed, the floor, diaper changes…you name it. We call them “fluffies” and it’s such a nice thing to have to associate with your sleeping place. Both my kids get excited when we bring them out for the winter to lay in their beds. We also take them with us camping and on family trips to make other beds instantly feel familiar.
We chose to cloth diaper because it’s gentle on the environment, and gentle on baby’s bottom. It helps with potty training later because the cotton never tricks children into thinking they’re dry when they’re actually wet. I find even the act of diapering with cloth is somehow a more thoughtful, relaxed ritual that requires some care in the process. If you’re even a little curious about cloth diapering, I encourage you to check out diaper services in your area. If you’re in Orange County, Pannolino Diaper Service has worked out really well for us. I use their basic prefold service with cloth wipes (I keep a little pump bottle of homemade wipe solution next to my diaper station-recipe coming soon) but they have even more simplified packages for you to try. If you try it out even for a few months, it may inspire you to take it on yourself.
People in your life are probably excited to buy gifts for your new addition, so include some onesies, a slow cooker or pressure cooker (you need to eat, too!), glass bottles if you plan to bottle feed, and favorite books. When it comes to toys, try to limit items to natural materials like wood, rubber, or silk. Your baby doesn’t need a lot of stimulation and loud music-making toys. Your face up close to theirs, the way shadows play on the wall, a first breeze across their skin…this is what baby needs, and we shouldn’t try to distract them.
Baby carriers are great, as are breast pumps when the time comes for you to take some time away from baby or go back to work. Both of these things are pretty dependent on your personal preferences and will take some research and old fashioned trial and error to get the right fit. Ask your community or your doula about different styles and how to try them.
One final thing I’ll touch on is sleep. It’s going to be a new adventure every day figuring out how to get enough rest while the new member of your family may want to eat and party all night. Even though your baby will probably be sleeping beside you or at least in your room for the first few months, I would definitely recommend getting the following two things in place for healthy sleep associations moving forward. Blackout curtains or drapes, and a solid white noise machine. I made my own blackout curtains for Archie’s first room, buying fabric from JOANNs and thin linen-looking drapes from IKEA. In our new house, I had blackout shades installed and both sets worked just as well at blocking out light and regulating my kids’ circadian rhythms. For white noise, I prefer one with an actual fan inside so the sound is more soothing and natural than a digital loop. This is an amazing tool not just for blocking out ambient sounds like dogs or siblings but for creating an aural pattern that naturally prepares us for rest and sleep. My kids yawn when we switch them on! I’m telling you, powerful stuff.
All that said, try to borrow as much as you can from friends. Those of us with kids are usually thrilled to lend out or even give away items we bought that didn’t get much use (hi, baby gym). As your baby grows, you’ll find more fun and meaningful ways to spend the money you might have spent on a gadgets before baby is born.